i know exactly what you’re talking about. once i actually opened up and let myself not be afraid, i’ve learned a lot about me and who i am. i’m not saying that things are gonna be perfect but you’ll feel a lot better for learning it on your own rather than from other experiences.
I have real trust issues, and lately I’ve realized it. I guess no one in my life has given me a pretty little picture of the “perfect relationship”. All I’ve ever known are flaws. I’ve never trusted any guy enough to be with them in anything where I call them my boyfriend. Never anything serious. I always put an end to things before they get that far. How pathetic am I. What am I so afraid of? I always say I’m too busy, or my parents wouldn’t like it, or I always pick apart everything wrong with the guy or wrong with myself. All the time. It’s not like I haven’t had chances, I’ve had plenty. I just never take them. I’m too scared of getting hurt because all I’ve ever seen by example are relationships never working out. People getting upset. Friendships ruined by them. Other people hurt in the process. It’s funny how I realize I’m starting to open up a little. The more things I experience the easier it is for me to let my guard down. That’s my goal for the summer. Live it up, have fun. Let everything go.
I think it's funny.